Collaborative Law is of Particular Benefit when LGBTQ+ Relationships are Ending
Unfortunately, the LGBTQ+ community is under attack in a manner we have not seen for decades. This assault on our rights and our lives is happening despite the progress we have made, or more likely, because of this progress and even though the majority of Americans support marriage equality. Over the last decade our families have become an intricate part of our community fabric and recognized as such by our neighbors and community leaders. During this trying and scary time, we need to find ways to reduce the stress we face. This is particularly important should you find yourself in the situation where your marriage or long-term committed relationship ends.
Divorce is often viewed with dread as a tumultuous and adversarial process. However, it does not have to be that way. Divorce is not one-size-fits-all, especially when there are issues unique to the LQBTQ+ community. Collaborative divorce is an approach that provides couples with an alternative way to end their marriage/relationship with dignity, compassion, and mutual respect. The collaborative divorce process allows for tailored solutions which may not be achieved through litigation. Instead of having a judge decide the outcome of their case and their future, couples who participate in collaborative divorce can find viable solutions that work for their family while addressing the unique challenges LGBTQ+ couples face, whether married or unmarried.
For example, many couples lived together prior to marriage because we were not allowed to get married. They may have accumulated a considerable amount of property before they married that under the law would be considered “separate property’ even if the couple considered it jointly owned when acquired. In a courtroom this property would not be subject to division in the divorce. But the collaborative process can help spouses address the reality of their union and the nuances associated therewith and allow them to reach a fair settlement that works for their family, provided that both people stay true to their original intent and see honoring their history as important. The same is true for long-term committed couples that never married. Their reality can be addressed in a wholesome caring fashion instead of an adversarial one where judges, and sometimes attorneys, take over the process, making the fight bigger than necessary.
Another example of unique issues that may arise in LGBTQ+ relationship dissolution revolves around the children. If one of the parents is not the child’s biological parent and legal parentage has not been established, they would have no parental rights in a court of law. There may be families with multiple adults or children with multiple parental figures. In the collaborative setting, families can craft a parenting plan that ensures the best interests of the children come first. This is a better approach than having a judge force a “cookie cutter” parenting plan upon the couple making a decision that will impact the family for years to come.
One of the biggest advantages of using the collaborative divorce process is remaining in control of the outcome. No one needs a judge who does not know them or their family to determine these important life changing issues. Collaborative divorce takes the relationship’s demise outside of the court system and avoids any prejudice or pre-conceived notions about gay families by a judge who may or may not be impartial and objective to LGBTQ+ families. By controlling the narrative of their divorce/breakup, the participants are often more satisfied with the results, reducing the likelihood that they will return to court post-divorce.
In contrast to the adversarial litigation process, collaborative divorce focuses on open, honest, and respectful communication. Collaborative divorce involves a team approach by attorneys, financial experts and healthcare professionals aimed at reaching a mutually beneficial agreement, focused on the parties and their family, in a private confidential setting. This process creates a cooperative environment where couples can focus on problem-solving and work to create an agreement that meets both their needs and interests, as well as those of any children in the relationship. Less stress during a breakup is less stress on the family and any children involved, and less stress in a stressful world is always a good thing. Collaborative divorce has emerged as a light bringing inclusivity and empowerment, offering a path towards amicable resolutions that honor not only the original affection the couple had for one another and their family, but the diverse needs and identities within the LGBTQ+ community.
Susan Mackenzie
Memphis attorney Susan Mackenzie offers over thirty-five years of experience representing individuals like you in a wide range of cases. Put Mackenzie’s legal expertise to work for your Memphis area legal issue. Her personal approach is focused on getting results in the areas of personal injury, adoption, divorce and estate planning. Susan Mackenzie has extensive experience helping the LGBTQIA+ community protect their interests and their relationships. This law firm has adopted the Standards for LGBT Families as established by LGBTQ Legal Advocates and Defenders (GLAD), the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) and the National Family Law Advisory Council.
https://www.glad.org/protecting-families/p4/.
Ms. Mackenzie has been trained in civil and family law mediation and is an approved Collaborative Family Law Attorney.
